Migration II

Wordpress is tooooooooooooooooo complicated for me :(

shazana-wazir.blogspot.com

Migration

http://shazanawazir.wordpress.com

Til we meet again :)

GOODBYE

I wish I did

Did I tell you that I don't want to lose you?
Did I tell you that I thought you're the one?
Did I tell you that I'm so happy with you?
Did I tell you that you're the best I ever had?
Did I tell you that you're different than others?
Did I tell you that I like talking to you?
Did I tell you that I like you?
Did I tell you that I love you?
Did I tell you that I just want to be with you?

I did, didn't I?

Nonsense

I hate it when I think I'm the fattest person on earth. I really really really hate it. I hate it when I still eat like there's no tomorrow even when I think I'm the fattest person on earth. I really really really hate it. I hate it when I still stuff in food into my mouth when I'm still full. I really really really hate it. I hate it when I know I'm fat and I should eat less but still I doubled up the portion of food I eat everyday. I hate to be fat cause I have to eat less and I hate to eat in a very small portion cause I love food. I hate it when I eat too much cause I'll regret after that for I know I'm fat and I shouldn't eat much. I hate it when people say that I'm not fat just to please me. I know I'm fat so just say it. So, yeah I'm fat!

ps: guess what :)

I waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaant this!

Just imagine a hot, tall, bald guy take me in this. We go around the city. After that, he took my hand and put the car's key in my hand and say, "it's now yours".

Daaaaang baby!

I can dream, can't I?

K-k-k-k-arma

Now listen to me baby
Before i love and leave you
They call me heart breaker
I don't wanna decieve you

If you fall for me
I'm not easy to please
I'mma tear you apart
Told you from the start, baby from the start.

I'm only gonna break break ya break break ya heart
I'm only gonna break break ya break break ya heart
I'm only gonna break break ya break break ya heart
I'm only gonna break break ya break break ya heart

Now listen to me baby
Before i love and leave you
They call me heart breaker
I don't wanna decieve you

If you fall for me
I'm not easy to please
I'mma tear you apart
Told you from the start, baby from the start.

I'm only gonna break break ya break break ya heart
I'm only gonna break break ya break break ya heart
I'm only gonna break break ya break break ya heart
I'm only gonna break break ya break break ya heart


Woah woah

Theres not point trying to hide it
No point trying to erase me
I know i got a problem
By doing this behavour

If you fall for me
I'm not easy to please
I'mma tear you apart
Told you from the start, baby from the start.

I'm only gonna break break ya break break ya heart
I'm only gonna break break ya break break ya heart
I'm only gonna break break ya break break ya heart
I'm only gonna break break ya break break ya heart

Cool!

You're better than the best

"Okay now, I want you to smile"
"Snap picture of you smiling then send it to me"

I miss you lah! :/

Sincerity vs. sympathy

Last night, someone called me, we talked. He managed to calm me down for a minute and half. Thanks. I used to love him, I used to hate him too. No, still hating him until this very day. Sometimes he made me feel like I'm very special to him and I don't like it that way. I don't want to be good to him because I feel sorry for him. I hate to do or to feel something because of sympathy. Sincerity comes first. When you want to adopt a child for instance, adopt him because you like him, you love him and you want to really look after him. Don't adopt him because you feel sorry to see him living without a family.

Be sincere.

Why can't people see that I have a heart too?

"Being 18 doesn't mean you're big enough. If you still can't do something for the family then don't be proud of being 18!"

I know I'm 18 and still act like a kid. I'm sorry for that. I can't just change from a little girl to a wise young lady in just a blink of an eye. I need time, there's a lot more I need to know and need to learn. I know I need to do something for the family. No, there's a lot that I need to do for the family. I just need time to figure out ways to give those help. I know exactly what's going on with everyone, I know!

What if I tell you that I care for the family. After all this while I just keep quiet because I'm thinking of ways to help out. But wait, why should I even bother to tell you because I know all you are going to say is "I'll try to believe you". Or maybe I should just make it more obvious that I am actually worried to see what everyone else is seeing. I should let you see my tears every night. I'm trying to not make it obvious that I'm worried because I know you'll be more worried, I know you love me. Why can't you understand that?

:(

Just like others,

My patience has it's limit, too!

ps: I think I'll be having my period very very soon

Couldn't ask for more

I have the world's greatest parents; Mr. and Mrs. Wazir
I have the world's greatest soulmate; Elina Suhaili
I have the world's greatest best friends; Keyla, Mai, Aznil, Imran
and not to forget
I have the world's greatest boyfriend; ♥

ps: life's fair

Bersyukur

Alhamdulillah.
Congratulations to others! :)

Mind at chaos

Now I know that the hardest thing to do is to pretend that you're okay when deep down inside you feel like the whole world is crashing down on you. It's like everyone is letting you down without mercy. No one seem to make the effort to make you feel better. Why have to pretend? Because to see your loved ones worry about you is worst! So, pretending is necessary at some occasions I guess? And for that I can conclude that I'm pretty good at pretending I'm okay when I'm not. Sighs. And oh, I don't think this is some kind of hypocrisy because at the same time I'm learning how to get myself out of the tangle by my own. Is that bad? Whatever, I don't know what crap I'm writing down here. My mind isn't functioning well. Still not knowing the exact cause but my instinct is saying that it's because result will be out tomorrow.

It's kinda annoying when everyone is talking about it. It's stressful when you know your family put a slightly high expectation on you. I have to tell that I didn't really do my best for the SPM due to some unstable emotions which I know I should've known how to handle them. But yeah, it's too late to think of that. This is torture; haven't been sleeping well for a few nights, fell down the staircase a few times. I really am stressed out, my increase in weight can tell. The more I write the more I feel I-don't-know-what-word-to-use-to-describe-the-feeling. So, I better stop.

ps: I'm fine. This is just another seek-for-attention post. Good luck for all SPM 2009 candidates!

Cheers!

Walking down memory lane

I was listening to some good music until my cousin, Mr. Pot knocked on the door.

Mr. Pot: buku Maths ada simpan lagi tak?
Me: tengok la dalam kotak tu
Mr. Pot: fuh, banyak sial buku. Khamis ni kalau tak dapat elok memang saja ah

Okay, that's kinda sial of you to say that. I just watched him digging out all the books from the box. Physics, Biology, Additional Mathematics, Sejarah, English, Bahasa Melayu, Mathematics (found it!, Mr. Pot) Looking at those books made me pause the present time and set to press the rewind button in my mind. Rewind button pressed and I was back in time where revision books are like my best friends. I sleep, eat with them. I carried them everywhere I go. Without reading the books, my days were not complete. I am not a smart ass, obviously but I just can't look at all those good students study. It challenged me. So, thanks a bunch to all those smarty pants! And one thing about me is, I can't just read and study. I have to write something on the book. Doodling is so my favourite until this very day. The books have all these cute little stick boy and stick girl. They are almost on every books. Oh, one more thing. I remember my Sejarah revision book. I can't remember the title of the book but it has the number 360. My friend introduced me the book. I liked it because all the content is good. I remember I used to highlight every single words in the book. It's Sejarah so everything is fact! :p And oh, all those exercise books are not completed. It's either I did half way or I didn't do at all. Trust me, you can find a lot of clean, new books in the box. I'm such a lazy ass. By the way, result is coming out this Thursday. Seriously, I don't know what I will be getting. I have no idea at all. I hope to get excellent result. The dream to get straight A's is too high for me. Don't dream too high little girl. But yeah, there's hope.

Lesson learned

Thank you very much

My 1 month 22 days experience working at Starbucks

Yesterday was the last day of February and my last day working at Starbucks. Yeah, I've stopped. Not that I was fired or what, it's my wish to stop working. For the past 1 month and 22 days, I think I've learned a lot from the people there. My first few days of working were not so good. I felt reluctant to go to work for I don't know what reason. Maybe, I hate being the only 'kid' there. I had no one to talk to. I mean, I didn't have anyone to hold a not-related-to-work conversation. I wanted to quit but I tried to work for a few days more because I know trying to adapt to new environment isn't easy. So, I tried and I managed to get myself adapt to the whole new environment there. After that, I didn't feel reluctant to go to work but after a few days, a new thing came and it's called laziness. But, I have found ways to overcome it. Well done, Shazana. So, been working like I've got no life at all. I didn't have time for movies and that's very sad. But thank God, I can still managed to spend time with family and friends. Haha, cakap as if la aku ni kerja bagus sangat. Working with the people there is fun. Especially the closing partners. Tipu lah if tak pernah sakit hati kerja sana. But, I did somehow enjoy myself. I had times where I laughed my ass off. Even I'm just a casual labour but they treated me just as same as all other partners. And of course, there were times when I feel so pissed and fed up working there. But I know it's all part of working. I can't just want things to be like how I want it to be, I can't expect things to be the same all time. I'm growing up so I have to understand that things are not the same. And and, after working as just a casual labour they did give me something as the token of appreciation.

Two Bearusta Bears and a Starbucks mug with some good words written on it. I feel appreciated. And yeah, that's one of it. Learn to appreciate not just when we have lost that something or someone, we should just appreciate when we still having them. Show it. And of course, the rest are all the making drinks skill. I spilled hot boiling water on my own hand, I spilled hot boiling milk on my body, I cut my finger a few times, I dropped food on the ground, I made wrong drinks a few times too, I cursed people a lot, I learned how to mop the floor now that I'm very good at it (haha), I washed the dishes every day, minus all the mandi whipped cream experience and a lot more. Cheers!

Fake Awake

sdasduebcxsopuasdkajfyasofamjbfasjkgusahdainhkdsn

The Rose Petals and It's Thorns

It's silly when someone starts to think about something that is rarely thought by others and suddenly it became an issue. Ever wondered why we only see people happy and rarely see them sad? Only certain people see the ugly side of things. No, they aren't pessimist. They're just being concern. Haha, big fat liar. Okay, let's begin. You see a very bright student scores in her studies and every school activities. Sorry, I'm being a sexist here. Proceed. She joins every competitions. She involves in all the school activities and yet, she managed to get straight A's in her examinations. The entire school knows her and she is loved and envied by everyone. From what we see, she must be very happy in achieving the Best Student Award. We want to be like her. Very successful. Her parents must love her so much. She probably can get everything that she wants. But what if she's not happy with her life? What if she is forced by her parents to get everything that her parents want and not her wish? Surely, she's not happy to do all that kan? But, she has to because she's being forced and because she can't decide what's the best for herself just because she's being tied to the best student in school whatever bullshit it is. Poor little girl.

We see a mother, a housewife who is very loving and caring. She takes a very good care of her family. She cooks everyday, she cleans the house, she has to do the laundries without complaining. She's very patient. She seems to be very happy doing all the chores. That is what we see. What if she feels very tired to do all that. Yeah, that's her responsibility but she needs breaks too. She needs her own time too. What if deep down inside, she feels sad to do the same thing every single day. She hopes her children can lend a helping hand but they don't. They let their mother do everything for them. And what if this lady wants a family vacation? She wants to spend time with her husband. What if her husband is too busy with work and that makes her feel that they're falling apart. Women have a very very very very very soft heart. What if actually she's not happy with her life but she has to pretend so because she loves her family. Poor mother.

We see a father works very hard for the family. But still, he has time to spend with his family. He works very very very hard because he wants nothing but the best for the family. He loves his family so much. He would do anything for the family. Even if he has to go out of the country, the first thing on his mind is his family. He knows that they're actually worry about him so he has to pretend that everything is fine although the truth is he has to attend meetings here and there. He has no time for meal. He has to pretend that his job is not torturing even deep inside, he wants to quit. But he can't because the love for his family. He can quit his job if he wants to but he wants to show to his children that there's no such thing as giving up. Problems can be solved. Nothing is easy but we have to keep on trying. Don't look back and don't give up. Poor father has to stand with all the hassles at the office just because he wants the best for the family.

I don't have any specific reasons why I'm posting this. The sun shines so brightly outside. Mom just went out with her friends. Adik-adik are at school. Abah is somewhere in Seberang Jaya. Mai is at her lab, Elina is at her shoes store, Keyla must be at home dealing with her PMS. I'm bored and cheers!

Abra Cadabra!

Eh, I remember you! We met once in Pavi kan?
Yes!

(OMG, he still remember me. Excited nya!)

-__-"

:)

I am not going to let myself to go into that bloody room. Na-ah, never!

THE something is behind THE nothing

A: Ey, go throw rubbish la
B: Come, let's go
A: Apa ni? Throw rubbish pun kena teman ka?
B: If you're not coming with me then how the hell am I going to throw THE rubbish?
A: Just throw yourself! Easy peasy.


The feminine part of me is surfacing. I'm a little bit more sensitive now. Bad thing?

I hope I'm right

I think
I've found
THAT someone :)

But, hell yeah it's too early isn't it?

Irreplaceable

Last night was another boring night. I got back from work and found out there were no one at home. Except, mak tok. I got myself cleaned, had dinner, watched TV and that's it. I'm not much of a TV person, so yeah couldn't stand watching TV for too long yaw! Weird much? Went up to my room, checked phone (as usual) there were 4 missed calls and 8 messages from the same person. And that got me mood swing. I was super annoyed and pissed off. Then, I called Fadd. It's been a while since the last time we talked on the phone.

Me: Haaaaa.............. (couldn't finished my haaaaaluuuuuu)
Fadd: Naaaaaaaaa! (screaming)
Me: What's your problem lah dey? Menjerit tak tentu hala.
Fadd: (laugh)
Me: How are you? I'm bored lah
Fadd: You think?
Both: Shiiiiiiiittttttttttt! (Be Without You was on air)
Fadd: Naa, I miss her (Maria).
Me: I miss him (the late Danial).
Fadd: Hey, are you okay?
Me: You know what, I think I'm getting weaker by days. I always feel I need someone to talk to, but there's no one. No one can replace him.
Fadd: Apa ni Naa? You have made it through over the past 2 years. And yeah, no one can replace him.
Me: Fadd, I rasa even if I dah married pun kan, there's still a piece of my heart with him in it.
Fadd: Not to sound gay, but I pun rasa macam tu. He was a good friend.
Me: Fadd, think I'm not in the mood sangat lah now. Nanti I call lain.

Danial, I'm sorry but I can't help myself. I miss you. I really really want to talk to you. There's a lot that I want to tell you. You've been such a wonderful friend to me. No, not just to me. But to all of our friends.

I went off to bed early last night with the hope that I could meet you in my dream :(

I hope he will read this

Please don't treat me like I'm your girlfriend. We're just friends and there's a limit to it. Stop thinking that I love you because I don't. Be thankful that I can still be your friend. Don't expect me to be the same girl that you've fooled once. Don't ask me why I'm not picking up your calls because obviously, I don't want to talk to you. Don't text me every single day, I hate to see your name appear on the screen of my phone. Please know the boundaries. Yes, I'm avoiding you and that's because, I'm scared if all my responses make you think that I'm giving you hope. I just want us to be friends and nothing more. Is it so hard to understand that I don't love you anymore. I've made it clear, I've said it to you. I've said it clearly. What else do you want from me. Stop showing that you care about me so much because it annoys me. Just stop doing everything you're doing now.

W380i

Flip open the phone, go to Contacts. Scroll down and stop at contact list #99. Spend few minutes staring at the phone screen. Then, flip close the phone back because it may not be the right time.

I'm boredddddddd -___-

Fuck, this is cute

The only time she knows is when she is asleep.

Girl: Babe I dont think I can sleep.
Boy: Why baby?
Girl: I don't know. I need your boring voice to put me to sleep. Wanna tell me a story? Hehehe.
Boy: Hahah, you're lucky that you're cute. How about I read you Dear John.
Girl: Sounds perfect. - Boy reads Dear John- - 15 minutes later-
Girl: *snores*
Boy: Babe?
Girl: *snores*
Boy: Hahah, you always knock out within 15 minutes. Your snores are cute. Babe, I really love you. I really do. Sometimes I might show that I dont give a f***. But I do. I never want to lose you. I know it's cheesy, but this is how I feel. This is REAL. I know I'm not the best thing out there, but I'm trying to be one of your best ever. Thank you babe, thank you for choosing a messed up guy like me to be your boyfriend. Thank you for being mine. I honestly can't see myself with anyone else but you babe. I know I say I love you too many times, but each time I say it, my feeling grows more & more for you. Thanks for listening babe. I'll still be on the phone if you need anything. Goodnight babe & sweet dreams. I won't let the bed bugs bite you.

cute cute cute cute :)

One Day

I miss the 'ketat' moment with Colin and Terence.

SGGS, I'm proud of you :)

Congratulations to the school to be listed one of the 20 Top Schools in Malaysia.

Congratulations once again.

"Once a Georgian, forever a Georgian" :)

Silly one

The girl fell in love with the boy. They were deeply in love. One day, the boy said something wrong that hurt the girl. She felt disappointed with the boy who she thought can take a good care of her (some girls are not independent enough to look over themselves -__-'). And, they broke up. The girl felt miserable and she thought of talking to someone hoping that it will make her feel better. So, she called her best male friend. They went out to the coffee shop, ordered hot chocolate and a slice of cheese cake. The girl told the other boy almost everything about her ex-boyfriend. She was devastated. She almost cry while telling her story. Luckily, her best male friend isn't a jerk. He listened to each of her words. Once the girl done telling him everything, he smiled. That warm smile made the girl felt much more better. Then the other boy gave the girl his wise words. The girl felt alive again! Days passed by and now, the girl and the other guy are together. Cliche?

The Ugly Truth

I know you were always there for me. During the ups and downs. But, I never make myself available for you especially when the sky is gray on your side. No, it's not me changing or what not this is just myself. I hate to say sorry even I know it's my fault. I hate to say thanks even after you did a lot to make me smile again. I don't care if we used to share silly stories together. Those were the days. I can't remember what I did that makes you feel that I understand you, feel your pain. I don't seem to know why I was being so stupid to always be by your side. What did I get in return? I don't care if you want to hate me because I never loved you. Your tiny little voice annoys me every time we talked. Your so-called cute attitudes make me wanna puke every time you're with me. Your face makes my heart burns.

You can say that the distance keeps us apart. Tell you what, throw your thought away because we are really falling apart. Don't waste your time to think of ways to keep us together back, it won't happen. You're deleted and I don't feel bad about it.

One out, one in

Hey friends! If you ever felt like the world is being so unfair to you, you're wrong. I thought such a way once but now I can see the beauty behind those not-very-good days that I've been going through lately. People come and go, yeah but remember you should appreciate those who never moved. These people are usually invisible. There's always reasons behind everything that happens. Perhaps, you're not happy now but hey! Don't worry too much, the day will come. It's just a matter of time. I had my hard times and now I'm having a very very very good moments with people around me and I'm very very very glad. Don't look back. What's done is done, the world doesn't just stop here. Move on darling, you have a big world to face. You'll meet a lot more of wonderful people in time to come. This is just experience. These are what I've learned.

Today, I went shopping! Bought shoes, jeans and my-favourite-thing. I had the most wonderful midnight conversation last night. Dreams do come true sometimes. Don't let your ego conquer yourself. Ego tu tak boleh bagi kenyang pun.

30 Seconds to Mars, please come to Malaysia. I'm having this thing people called sangap of you guys ;p

Zip zip zaaaaap!

Noticed something? Yeah, I've been posting all the emo blogs nowadays. Silly me :)

If I can sing well,

I will sing this to you :(

A B C

A - Available: still only for that someone. Bodoh
B - Best Friend: girl named Shazana Wazir
C - Crush: banyak
D - Dad's Name: Md Wazir Mohamed Daud
E - Easiest Person To Talk To: myself
F - Favorite Band: 30 Seconds to Mars
G - Gummy Bears Or Worms: Gummy Worms! :p
H - Hometown: Penang, Perak
I - Instrument: acoustic guitar <3
J - Job: barista -.-"
K - Kids: not now
L - Longest Car Ride: Penang to KL to Melaka to JB
M - Milk Flavor: strawberry
N - Number Of Siblings: first
O - One Wish: :)
P - Phobias: a few
Q - Favorite Quote: "for you I will"
R - Reason To Smile: a reply from him is enough
S - Song You Last Heard: Remembering Sunday, All Time Low
T - Time You Woke Up: 7 am
U - Unknown Fact About Me: pemarah
V - Vegetable: carrot!
W - Worst Habits: malas mandi
X - X-Rays You've Had: MRSM stuff
Y - Your Favorite Food: tosai
Z - Zodiac Sign: Capricorn

Why me?

Because people take me for granted.
Because a friend used to call me often but now, no more.
Because my friends are happy now and some have forgotten me.
Because a friend thinks that I don't have a heart just because I don't show my emotions.
Because I love that friend and will always try to be by her side no matter what.
Because I don't mind if that friend has forgotten me.
Because I'm happy for that friend.
Because he left me when I still love him, deeply.
Because I didn't show him how much I love him.
Because I was in love.
Because finally I've found that someone after almost three years.
Because he was the one who said "I love you" first.
Because he's hard to forget.
Because I love him too much.
Because I'm used to keep things to myself.
Because I get confused too often.
Because I care too much.
Because it sucks when he isn't around.
Because I'm scared.
Because no one knows what's inside me.
Because I'm strong enough to go through hard times all by myself.
Because I can only tell my feelings to that one person.
Because I'm not good enough for you :)

My first Mat Rempit experience

I had work from 9 pm to 3 am last night. Around 2, I was sweeping the shop then I saw a rabble of mat rempits in front of Tesco. They made Tesco as track. Since it was my first experience, so I was astounded a little. Lol. Grace said this is normal. And a few mintues later, I heard one of my cliques said "they got caught already!" Yes, I saw police cars and I was super excited to see the new Subaru police car. Haha. And of course there were a bunch of mat rempits. And here's the video

Thanks to Mr. I-don't-know-his-name-actually for the video :)

And after watching the free movie, all of us, Grace, Alex, Yee Lin, Amin and myself got back to our works. I was told that all these mat rempits will have to walk to the police station and yes, I saw them walking. It was like a parade man! Haha

I'm a barista and I can dangdut!

Niceee :D

This song makes me smile, widely :D

Here and there

I worked until 2 pm yesterday and whoot! I've got some friends visited me yesterday. Thanks, Ena, Mai and Aznil. After working Mai and Ena asked me out to Gurney so I went home and cleaned myself ding ding dong dong then Aznil came and picked me up to Gurney. Since I didn't had my lunch yet so Ena suggested the Hot and Roll paratha. It was nice and spicy. Haha. After eating, we headed to Red Box. All of us were singing macam gila. I was super exhausted but when it comes to singing fuh, semangat! Haha. We finished around 7 pm then we went to the near by food stall for dinner. I had Char Kuey Teow and air kelapa biji for dinner. After dinner, Aznil went home straight away while Ena, Mai and myself went to Green Lane McD to buy McFlury for my adik-adik. After that, went back to my house cause I wanted to take my things cause gonna spend the night at Ena's. After that we went back to Gurney cause Mai forgot to pay the parking fees. After Gurney, we went to Bertam to Mai's. She wanted to take her things too. After that, we went to Seven E, I wanted to buy prepaid reload ticket. Then suddenly Ena's mom called and said gate Recsam dah tutup so we changed the plan to just overnight at my house. Poor Mai had to drive here and there. She asked me to drive but I was super tired so I didn't, sorry babe! So, that's all. I had fun. After school life isn't that bad :)

Quick updates

So yeah, I've finished school and soon to be 18. Legal age baby! I just can't wait. After this I can watch 18 movies dengan senang hati. No need to worry about my height anymore -.-" I've started my driving class and I hate it. The process is like forever man! And I don't like my insturctor, somehow. At some points, I just feel like stopping this bloody driving class and continue driving illegally. But, I've paid so redah je! It's always bad to stop doing something half way. Thanks to some friends that now the world knows that I'm working, barista at Starbucks. Wanted to quit after working for a couple of days but I guess now I'm okay with everything. So, most probably gonna continue working until end of next month. That's all I guess. Off to work-

Happy Birthday, Mama ♥

I couldn't upload my mom's picture due to some error. Anyways, yeah today January 2nd is my mom's birthday. So,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MAMA!

I LOVE YOU ♥