Mind at chaos

Now I know that the hardest thing to do is to pretend that you're okay when deep down inside you feel like the whole world is crashing down on you. It's like everyone is letting you down without mercy. No one seem to make the effort to make you feel better. Why have to pretend? Because to see your loved ones worry about you is worst! So, pretending is necessary at some occasions I guess? And for that I can conclude that I'm pretty good at pretending I'm okay when I'm not. Sighs. And oh, I don't think this is some kind of hypocrisy because at the same time I'm learning how to get myself out of the tangle by my own. Is that bad? Whatever, I don't know what crap I'm writing down here. My mind isn't functioning well. Still not knowing the exact cause but my instinct is saying that it's because result will be out tomorrow.

It's kinda annoying when everyone is talking about it. It's stressful when you know your family put a slightly high expectation on you. I have to tell that I didn't really do my best for the SPM due to some unstable emotions which I know I should've known how to handle them. But yeah, it's too late to think of that. This is torture; haven't been sleeping well for a few nights, fell down the staircase a few times. I really am stressed out, my increase in weight can tell. The more I write the more I feel I-don't-know-what-word-to-use-to-describe-the-feeling. So, I better stop.

ps: I'm fine. This is just another seek-for-attention post. Good luck for all SPM 2009 candidates!

Cheers!