time is running out

hello there. how've you guys been up to?

psssst, i've manged to cover up bio form 4 and almost done with bio form 5. read wani's blog. chill babe, put all of your love while studying this one little bloody subject. bio is fun. really. i've gotta say this. among all science subjects, bio is at heart. fuhh. but then again i'm not satisfied with myself though i managed to cover bio. all i did was just reading. i hope i can remember well, at least 3/4 of the facts.

sadly, i haven't started revising agama. and agama has a total up of roughly 72 chapters to cover. die la die la. oh oh and i didn't touch my physics book yet. big time, DIE LA WEY!

apa ni shazana? kalau macam ni jangan lah nak berangan nak continue with medicine and nak dapat scholarship. jadi lah rajin sikit. think of your own future boleh tak? dah besar kan, takkan benda macam ni pun tak boleh nak think of? don't disappoint your parents dah, please.

gedik-gedik manja

two days of study group and hell it helped a lot. thanks to all friends who turned up:

farah
nabilah
timah
sya
elina
keyla
wani
shaf
aizat
bashirul
otak geliga (ben)

and of course special special special special thanks to si otak geliga. we studied sejarah on the first day. and yesterday, we managed to do chemistry. now i can remember the rusting process, freshly and again, thanks to si otak geliga.

i didn't stay up last night as i was super duper tired and i had major headache. too much studying perhaps? so, i slept after berbuka. and i woke up around 10.30 feeling guilty because i'm supposed to be studying. i read sya's text message and went down to call her up. after calling her, i called some friends. was trying to have some good convos with them hoping that i won't feel too stressed out. after talking with sya, again, my cousin asked me to help him with his phone and some maths. woo, calculation! i slept around 1 (can't really remember actually) and woke up at 3 again, feeling guilty. so, i took my bio revision book and started studying. i studied until 10 and went back to sleep. woke up, do some laundry and now, blogging.

okay, gotta go now peeps. need to finish up bio form 5. baru perasan, blog title has nothing to do with this blog. haha

it works that way

so, i had the sejarah study group yesterday. a few friends came and we really did study. well, at least 3 chapters covered. and i found study groups somehow work on me. probably it's just the way i carried myself in a group that made me think that study groups don't work on me. and thanks to Ben for the unexpected explanation from you. you are a smart ass! and sorry friends that i failed to explain to you guys like how Ben did. and today, we're gonna have chemistry study group. chemistry, another red-marked subject on my focus-more list that is pasted on my bed room wall.

i just got back from someone's blog page, and all i've got to say is, MANGGIS ROCK!

*i know where i stand, don't worry (:

yeay me!

finally, i really am studying. last night, i received a text message from farah asking me to "cerita" to her about history. and sya did request for the same thing too. so, after terawikh i came with an idea to hold a sejarah study group with some friends. after getting approval from mama and abah, i texted my friends asking them to join the study group. well, most of them agreed to join. ah, study group? hopefully it works on me this time. well, it better will. time is running out!

so, gonna have a study group today and it's gonna be sejarah this time. guess what, i didn't sleep last night and i mean, i really did not sleep. i started revising after texting all friends and i kept on studying until 5 am until mama came knocking on my door for sahur. fulamak shazana!

after sahur, i wanted to have a 15 minutes sleep but thinking of the trials is just 4 days from now, it scares me. so, i continued studying and now my brain is too full and here i am, blogging. i read wani's blog. haha. i'm proud to be one the people who keeps you motivated.

reaching sejarah f5 textbook, flipping through pages, now; page 177: pilihan raya. toodles (:

yesterday.

i had fun yesterday, thanks people :D


pssstt, i feel loved too (:

first day.

woot, i made it through the first day of puasa. wooh, i'm proud of myself and surely my parents are too. i did nothing much on the first day. woke up for sahur, went online, did a little bit of studying at went back to sleep at 8 and woke up at 10. haha. and of course, as usual mom nags at me for waking up late?! serious, no shit. mama said anak dara like me, should wake up earlier. well ma, this is the modern days of anak dara (:

no shit, i was studying the whole day long yesterday. fuuh, my brain was overflowed with sejarah, bio, add maths, chemistry and physics. well done, shazana! and tup tup tup, it's time for berbuka. that was fast! go study folks, it helps you a lot during this fasting month.

i had ayam percik for berbuka, biasalah first day kan. after berbuka i went for solat terawikh. the mosque was so packed man. i managed to the the 8 rakaat terawikh because i wanted to continue studying at home. trials coming up!

it was raining yesterday, the whole day and it is still raining now. sejuk lah nak mati. needing jumper and a big warm hug (:

off-tuition: 0830 til 1500 -.-

22082009

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ABAH ♥

no one can love me like you do, abah. you're my #1 hero, forever.

I LOVE YOU

well-mannered.

yesterday, in the car heading to the tuition centre, i saw a bunch of cute boys walking by the pavement. they were all cute and sweaty. haha. probably they just finished playing basketball. ohhhwie, hot!

while waiting for the teacher, i saw this bunch of cute boys crossing the road. then, i saw something that i think hard to see. one of the boys was helping an old man crossing the road. such a well-mannered boy. one of a kind

current state of mind

the naked truth. no, this is not just for the sake of showing off or whatever shit. this is the real deal. the picture above, is my studying table. no, i don't really study. how can i study if the condition of my studying place is like the above, right? so, yeah some can tell. bed is the place. and when someone hits the bed, they can just stay awake for less than 2 hours then, enter the lala land. amazing. ah, almost forgot, i have books covering 3/4 of my bed. awesome, no? Newton's second law states that every action has its reaction. and here it goes, mama went into my room this morning while i was away for school. right time, ma. so, i got this from her:

ma: kakak, can i ask you something?
me: yes
ma: macam mana kakak study?
me: macam tu lah, nak macam mana lagi?
ma: with the condition of your bilik like that? macam lepas perang
me: no time la ma. mama pun bukan nak tolong kemas
ma: hello adik manis, you're already 17. jangan jadi malas la anak dara
me: okay, esok kakak kemas
ma: tau tak dengan bilik macam tu, i can tell that you're actually staying with hantu setan jebon in that room tau
me: yeah, dulu dah penah bising pasal ni
ma: macam mana la study nak masuk kepala otak. dah la kepala tu keras
me: maaaaaaaaa! good night

to cut my mom off. i slept in the car until reached home. sweet dreams (:

yes, it's been more than 2 years. i'm tired of waiting and sick of hoping. yes, you can still call me in the middle of the night and tell me that you hate your life just like how you tell every girls you know. that's pathetic, young man. i've made it clear, not gonna wait, not gonna hope for you (:

p/s: let's say i've found someone else

i saw this bulletin post on myspace. it's posted by fc (:


rename: things that I want but won't ask

1. Share secrets with me.

2. Give me your jacket.

3. Laugh with me.

4. Hangout with me and my friends together.


KEEP READING ..


5. Smile with me.

6. When my friends say "I love her more than you", deny it. Fight back and hug me tight so i can't get to my friends. It makes me feel loved.

7. Open doors for me, walk me to my car - it makes me feel protected, plus it never hurts to act like a gentleman.

8. If it seems like there is something wrong, ask me - if i deny something being wrong, it means I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT - so just hug me.

9. Make me feel loved.

10. Don't lie to me.

11. DON'T cheat on me.

12. Take me ANYWHERE i want

13. Text message or call me in the morning and tell me have a good day at school, and how much you miss me.

14. Be there for me whenever i need you, and even when i don't need you, just be there so i'll know that i can always count on you.


ARE YOU STILL READING THIS? YOU BETTER, BECAUSE IT'S IMPORTANT.


15. Hold me close when i'm cold so i can hold you too.

16. Don't ever tell me to leave even jokingly or act like you're mad. If i'm upset, comfort me.


REMEMBER ALL THESE THINGS WHEN YOU ARE WITH HER NEXT ..


17. When people diss me, stand up for me.

18. Look deep into my eyes and tell me you love me.

19. Lay down under the stars and put my head on your chest so i can listen to the steady beat of your heart, link your fingers together while you whisper to me as i rest my eyes and listen to you.

20. When you hug me, hold me in your arms as long as possible.

MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS SHES LOVED.

21. Call or text me at night to wish me sweet dreams.

22. Comfort me when i cry and wipe away my tears.

23. Take me for long walks at night.

24. Always remind me how much you love me.

You'll never know when i need just a little more love ..

I'M MISSING THEM

somethings are better left unsaid. if you don't feel like saying it, then don't. well, you don't really have to be a risk taker all the time do you? there are times you need to be alone. you don't want anyone else to know what you're up to, you don't want them to ask them if everything is going right, you even don't want them give you 'that' look. nothing lasts forever and things always change. a loser will not be a loser forever, never. if a person smiles at you, smile back. they just need to make themselves feel better even if you know that they're faking the smile. don't get them wrong, they're not being a hypocrite, they're just trying to see the beautiful side of misery. perhaps, sometimes they just couldn't hide the burden they're carrying, ask them if they're okay. if they say everything is fine, don't believe them, ask again. but if they still say everything is fine, then let them be. maybe they're trying to be more independent. they think they depend on others too much. let them be on their on. they have to be independent. they can't always depend on others as everyone knows someday and some time, people still need to live on their own, making decisions by oneself, solve own problems, figure out own lives. so, let them start from now. again, don't get them wrong. they're trying to do something that benefit everyone. if you smile at them but you don't get a good respond, don't get upset. they have something big that's bothering them. don't ask if they need any help, because they will not speak the truth. if they really need your help, they will come to you and ask for it. let them learn what a real life is. they're growing up, don't stop them from learning.

at times, they will be rude and will raise their voices to you. don't get upset, always keep in mind that they're growing up. they just don't know how to handle the emotions, they're learning. don't be cold towards them because they hate it. and what they hate the most is being cold among themselves. as time flies, they understand that's a just a way of showing emotions. but that's not the right way. they've learned from their own mistakes and will try not to repeat it again. they may be hard too. don't blame them for being hard. it's just the result of what they have been facing before this. every action has it's reaction. never ever try to change them. and yes, these people have changed a lot, that's the nature of life. they have finally found themselves and if it's not up to your liking, you can't do anything else but to just accept it. real deal. but that doesn't mean you can't or don't have to correct them. people make mistakes, how big or how good you are, there's one thing you can't avoid: making mistakes. it's the norm. correct them when you feel what they're doing is wrong. but if they just don't seem to change even after you talked to them, face the truth: that's just them being themselves. never ever underestimate them, they may seem heartless but no one knows how they feel deep down inside. some of them just want to keep things to themselves. they feel safer and better that way. it's okay, let them be. eventually, they will show their feelings. it's something no one can hide. and when this 'category' cut you when you're talking about someone else, no, they're not feeling annoyed or somewhat of jealous. that's because they feel empty and dark inside, they feel they need to be loved and to love. they want to feel happy. probably, something hideous and scary happened to them in the past, and that 'thing' took their happiness away. we wouldn't know. no, they're not lifeless. they have such a wonderful life with a bunch of wonderful people around them. they just trying to make the beautiful things to be more meaningful and special.

the best thing to do is, try not to point out their wrongdoings or bad behaviors or to make it obvious that they have changed and you don't seem to like it. all they need is your support. don't think that you're always right, they may be right sometimes. and don't ever think that this bunch of people have no heart, they're fragile but they just don't wanna show it. it's their way to keep them strong and to be stronger.

and to any of you is currently can be categorised in the group mentioned, i feel you. i know you're stronger than this. i know we can go through this. there's a lot more waiting for us ahead. don't give up at a start. so, try to be a little selfish. ignore those who condemn you. you know yourself better than anyone else (:

and i wish, i'm not here. yes, i shouldn't come back

hey there, it's nice to see you again.

nothing much happened today. i went for Abang Eddie's wedding. it was gruelling though i didn't help much for the wedding. sorry everyone. but today, i just found my new love, it's the Kawasaki 250r Ninja superbike! i want that bike or maybe a guy who owns it. and that guy better be my other half so that he can take me on that gorgeous bike. oh i want it black. it's cool isn't it? after the wedding, i went to Queensbay again. and while on the road, i just can't take my eyes off the road spotting for a black Kawasaki. see, i'm so in love with it. just imagine, your loved one take you on this super goorgeous, cool, solid, sexy thing. and the next thing you realise is that all eyes are on you and some of the girls will be jealous of you. i am looking for a guy who owns a Kawasaki 250r Ninja (:

i had a bad day yesterday. some friends were absent and that i have to go recess alone. well, not practically alone but i had no one to talk to. i planned to watch movie with Ika after school but mama asked us to go for Abang Eddie's akad nikah. so we went to the akad nikah. it was quite boring though. we had to wait for half an hour for the tok khadi to arrive. i was so bored and so i played some games from the phone. then, the tok khadi arrived. it was my first time seeing someone get married as in bernikah for the first time. it was kinda exciting and that somehow made feel wanna get married. lol. after the akad nikah, me, mama, Ika and ibu went to Balik Pulau for the laksa. we ladies, had fun hanging out together, eating laksa. suddenly, ibu blurted with some jokes and we were laughing our asses off! after a few months or maybe a year of not laughing out loud, i laughed yesterday (: then we went back home and i finished of the washing. oh yes, i wash my own garments. after dinner, we went to help out for the wedding then, i decided not to go for the wedding the next day. i was so exhausted. we went back home around 11 and without changing my baju kurung, i hitted the bed. only God knows how tired i was yesterday.

***

i decided not to go fot the wedding so Ika and I went to Queensbay to watch movie. we watched The Proposal. it's a good movie i shall say. i like the story line, though there were some parts that i think quite boring but the whole movie A! oh and i think Ryan Reynolds is SUPER CUTE! after watching movie, we went to Secret Recipe. i've been carving for chocolate few days back, and so there i was. i had chocolate indulgance and iced blended mocha. caffiene and chocolate, perfect! after eating, the both of us (Ika and I) went for shopping. i had so much fun, i missed shopping with her. as usual, we bought briefs and panties. lol. and oh, something happened just now. Ika was in the fitting room to try the bra and i was waiting for her outside the fitting room then, an old guy with his daughter came approach.

dad: the fitting room is full
daughter: aha aha
dad: nevermind, just try it here
daughter: okay

then, the uncle talked to me

uncle: is there anyone inside?
me: yeah, my sister
uncle: how long has she been in there?
me: err, she just went in
uncle: do you women try bra?
me: yes, of course
uncle: what for?
me: to make sure that we buy the right size. to avoid breast cancer in some other words

and then he just smiled and walked off. did i mention that he's very handsome? well, he is. and the way he speaks Malay is funny. maybe, he stayed in some foreign country for so long. hope to see you again handsome old man!